Phoon and Yuke have been together for a long time. Their adopted son Butr makes their family complete. Due to the lack of legislation for same-gender wedding, Phoon appears as his only father, on paper. Butr has always been happy with his 2 fathers but when he starts going to elementary school, he starts questioning about his mother. An incident in school, makes a social worker of the Children’s Rights Protection Organization gets involved, questioning the idea of Butr growing up in a family without a feminine presence. She even tracks down his real mother, which totally disrupts life of this happy family. With pressure from social worker and Butr's mother wanting to get involved in his life, Phoon decides to send Butr to stay with his mother for a couple of weeks because of which his relationship with Yuke becomes rather strained. It is hard to say what is right and what is wrong for situations like this.
This is probably the first time that talks about gay parenting in South East Asia. Almost nobody in the film overtly discriminates against the gay couple. However, when Butr comes into the equation, things become more complicated. The film’s main conflict arises from the question of whether having gay parents could be detrimental for a child’s development compared with having straight ones. You may or may not like the characters presented (the school teacher, the social worker, Butr's mother, Phoon and Yuke themselves) but everyone's position is rooted in concern for Butr’s welfare rather than malice. We are made to question and consider different points of views rather than denigrating them straightaway. Yes, Butr wants his mother but tat doesn't mean he doesn't wants his fathers. How do you explain this to a child what is the relationship between his fathers is with each other. Personally I also have issues wit why the child was sent to temporarily live with the mother. There are various other ways to incorporate a mother's love in his everyday's life. And as I mentioned, the ending was rather abrupt and you wouldn't know what will really happen with Butr's life. Phoon and Yuke have excellent chemistry with each other as a gay couple. In fact, their chemistry with Butr and their interactions are so real, they feel like a family. My heart broke when Butr cries asking to not be sent to his mother. Kids at this age are very impressionable and everyone has their view on what's right for Butr. I get it that its a hard story to present just one side of the coin, but in my mind, there is no two way about the fact that the fathers are the real parents and social worker and society need to find a way to bring motherly love in a different way. someone actually asks the question, "What's the difference between Father and Mother", and in the context this movie is, it is a hard question to answer.
The film has its faults, but the sincere portrayal of the film’s main theme makes it a definitely wort a watch, particularly when one considers the lack of films about gay parenting, especially in Southeast Asia. (7/10)
Comments
The beginning was really really good. As you said Golu, they try to present the different points of views, and they are all being honest and legitimate. There are no good answers, that's why it makes the decisions so difficult. They made a wonderful job at that, the dilemma was handle very well at first, and you can't really hate any character (except the homophobic dad of course).
However then things get less and less believable, and even slightly infuriating for us in the middle. First of all we wanted to slap Phoon in the face. Of course the "that's MY son" had us want to kill him. That's beyond selfish, that's just being cruel. But mostly it's the fact it seems Phoon discovers all those questions that got us angry. Looked like as if he had a baby by accident and never thought about it before. Having a baby for gays is often a long and difficult process (even if beautiful of course). I don't know how they do it in Thailand and I won't judge because we all have our own culture. But I know the adoption process have you go through social and psy counceling, Thailand included. And they ask you way more difficult questions than "I'm afraid my son will be gay since I'm gay and a model to him", trust me. Pretending he had never thought of the possible relation with the mother, the way they'll tell their son his story, and how to describe their couple is nearly insulting. No wonder some people still consider gays wanting a baby as a simple whim. Phoon wanting to cancel the wedding so that people don't know about the dads being a gay couple was sooooo ridiculous. And sending the kid apart with his bio mom when the kid and the mom don't know each other is just as wtf. To the film defense though, it was made 5 or 6 years ago, and a lot have changed since then, so I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. Still, at one point I even thought films like these can be kinda dangerous as they can give you the idea that adopted children will choose their birth parents over the ones who raised them (even if it's not THAT bad here).
Thankfully the ending was pretty clear to me and makes everything fall into the right place. Phoon comes to his senses. The mom will probably have a special place for the kid, even if he still can't say that he loves her yet. And the kid's parents are his dads, period.
The chemistry between the dads and with their son was very good. All characters were very believable actually, and very relatable with their own scars and points of views.
A very good watch, I just hoped they hadn't gone all drama for nothing in the middle. Or maybe I'll come up with a different answer once I will have experienced the dreaded moment of my daughter asking "why don't I have a mom?" (suddenly, my hard coming out seems so trivial lol)
Your views are quite spot on and quite similar to my feelings. Of course, I do not have any adoption experience and my views were solely based from a viewer's perspective, but hearing your views on this makes it so much more special.
As you mentioned, thankfully, everything is set right in the end.