Started in 2007 to keep a track of gay films that I watched, this blog has come much further than I had planned. There are tons of movies that I need to watch and review here. Through this blog, I want to give you genuine, my personal heart-felt review of the films that I see. These are my personal thoughts and opinions about the films and I would love to hear your thoughts on these films as well. I always reply to comments in a day or two. Please help me make my blog more popular by becoming a member, following it and by recommending it to your friends. As far as I know this is one of the very very few gay movie review blogs where reviews are not linked or copy-paste imdb summary. Enjoy and do keep writing your feedback.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Torka Aldrig Tårar Utan Handskar (Swedish) [Don't Ever Wipe Tears Without Gloves]

Thank you so much to one of my readers on this blog, who suggested that I should watch this series and that I would like it. I had in my list to watch this series but if not for the feedback, I probably won't have watched it so soon, and I would have missed out on such a great series. Made as a 3 part TV series of almost an hour each in Sweden, This film brings us a very interesting, genuinely touching, heart- wrenching and important piece of modern history. It deals with the start of the AIDS epidemic in 1980's homophobic Sweden.

19-year-old Rasmus, moves from rural hometown to Stockholm to attend university after graduation. As soon as he arrives in Stockholm he begins to seek out the gay community that he was always suppressing in his small town. He meets and befriends Paul as soon as he arrives in the city. At a Christmas dinner party in Paul's apartment he eventually meets Benjamin, a young man who is struggling to come to terms with his homosexuality (Paul helps him) and faith as a Jehovas Witness. There is instant connection between the two men and they start dating each other. Benjamin is still not out to his family but despite this they soon move in together. Their friend circle is Paul and some of the other close friends who they hang out with Paul. Their tradition is a family christmas dinner.  AIDS has started to spread among their friends, end eventually it also reaches them. They are losing their friends and everyone around them. When Rasmus is found HIV-positive, Benjamin finally decides to tell his parents and church elders that he is homosexual, in order to fully support Rasmus. This leads him to being shunned by the church, and forces his parents to stop all contact if they want to remain in the congregation. We see Rasmus and Benjamin struggling with things and others as well. We get glimpses of families not acknowledging that their sons are dying of AIDS or the fact that they were gay. When Rasmus in in a worse condition, Bejamin asks his parents to visit who visit and are the most nicest people. But after his death, just as others Rasmus' parents refuse to accept Benjamin's request concerning Rasmus's funeral, although they had been deeply in love and Benjamin had remained by Rasmus' side throughout. 20 years later, Benjamin is still surviving and dealing fine with support of memories of his love and their time spent together with friends.

The series fundamentally seeks and shows truth of the situation and in what actually happened; yet truth is coupled to the intensity of a well-crafted script and beautifully acted roles, something the pure documentary approach lacks, something that allows the story to become universal, outside time and place. The entire 3 episodes go back and forth with Rasmus' and Benjamin's childhood memories, their growing up times and days, their interactions with their family and surroundings; their current lives and in the last episode, the future life as well. The title of the series comes from an act of kindness when a nurse is wiping tears from an AIDS victim but as per the theory any human contact, even if it’s intended as the smallest act of kindness, risks passing on the infection. This film shows response across society to these extreme new circumstances. It beautifully shows the couples relationship growing, their joys and tribulations, how their contact with their blood families reduce and their new friends-family increase. There are moments on the screen that are emotionally very strong and need a strong heart to watch and sit through those. The fathers crying when Rasmus dies, the families not acknowledging, Benjamin watching everyone dying slowly, Rasmus' reaction of finding out he is positive and dying, Paul's funeral in the end and finally the old Benjamin's outburst when he finally gets to see the place where Rasmus grew up. There were so many scenes where I had a touch time controlling my emotions. Thanks god that the characters and their situations are treated with respect, according them dignity even when life has done its utmost to take that away. The 2 lead actors give honest, moving, raw and believable performances, fighting for their love and acceptance from both their families and society. The actor playing Paul was also very good and he stays happy until the end and keeps the group together.

An important series that shows the dangers of ignorance and prejudice during the worse times of AIDS epidemic; the importance of love, acceptance and remembrance. We who were not in that time period, need to sit back and reflect on those tough times and empathize with people who lived through it. Imagine how emotionally string they would have had to be, when I can't even watch it without crying. (9/10)


Qarizmatikowz said...

Hey! I really wanna watch this one! Do you eventually know where I can find it on the internet? I googled it but couldn't find it anywhere :( it seems impossible .. I'd be Thankful if u can help me.. Loveee your website btw thanks a lot to share all the great movies with us

Golu said...

You are very welcome and appreciate you visiting my blog. I found this movie actually quite easily. Try googling either original name or english title on various torrent websites. The dvd of the film is also easily available. It depends on your location, I guess.

try gay-torrents ?

gila gaban said...

this is one of the best movies ever or is it a mini drama?..whatever, it superb. there's another awesome movie called my straight son...have you seen it?

Golu said...

I believe this was originally telecast as a 3 part mini-series. I haven't heard of the movie that you have recommended. I will definitely check it out.